Ups and Downs

Settling in to Khujand has been rough. To be fair, I've had some really high "highs", but I think as life kind of continues I've been experiencing some lows. Apparently, this is perfectly normal. During orientation is D.C. we received information about the natural mood swings we get during cultural adjustment.

I wasn't going to write a blog post about this, but after reading Nicole's blog, I felt reassured that I'm not the only one out there! I feel extremely isolated up here, since all the other Fulbrighters and the Tajik friends that I made are in Dushanbe. I almost wish I went directly to Khujand when I arrived because picking up and starting over again is pretty hard. I've also been battling stomach problems for the past two weeks, which certainly hasn't helped.

I think the problem is that I don't have a steady schedule yet. I've been leading discussion clubs here and there, but I haven't started a project to really sink my teeth into yet, and I'm unsure of how to proceed.

Don't worry friends and family. I've had some amazing experiences here. Probably my best experiences have been going to the villages. Having several cups of tea and naan with an old woman in the countryside, and afterwards, receiving an embrace from her and being called, "Victoria Khan." There was something so beautiful in being accepted by this conservative muslim woman in Northern Tajikistan. I wonder if Americans would have shown the same generosity and openness. I don't normally write about negativity in my posts, and I've had bad days before, but I figured that this is all apart of the Fulbright experience. The good, the bad, and those in between, every day moments.

I know I am supposed to be here, and I'm working on establishing a routine. And as Nicole said, "according to my guilty pleasure, Psychology Today, big breakdowns lead to big breakthroughs." So here's to these moments of highs and lows. I'm embracing them and am looking forward to the next 8 months of making a difference.