Life in Tstan

Onions and nuts for the winter

A traditional Tajik table setting

Host mom making osh. There is no electricity.

The osh is almost ready!

The oven for making naan and for burning trash

Chai and naan with the granny while mom cuts carrots

My friend who wants to become an English translator and finish university before she marries

One of the four sisters who is studying to do make-up. Unfortunately, no one uses make-up here, so it has been hard for her to find training. I told her to find a Russian lady to ask for help.

Piles and piles of carrots

The neighbor came over for some tea before all the girls left for the wedding

Big naan. The biggest naan is made for weddings.

My friend's sister dressed in her finest for the wedding. She asked me if I thought she looked pretty.

All of the girls dressed to impress.

In some conservative Muslim cultures, it is common not to smile in pictures. I love this one because my friend is smiling and is really excited for the wedding celebration.

I definitely need to get some new clothes...

All of them are so beautiful

Waiting for the groom to bring his bride

Fetching water from a pipe at a neighbor's house

In Tajikistan, running water is a rare. Women carry jugs of water multiple times a day for the cooking and cleaning.

Everyone going in for the osh.

A cute and very serious little Tajik girl

Drinking some more chai and hanging out. The girls found me a dress to borrow so people wouldn't ask why I was so poorly dressed.

Tajik wedding. The groom brings the bride who is from a neighboring village.

There is some dancing, but it is kept at a minimum.

The groom presents his bride to the village. Her family stands next to her. These are all arranged marriages.

Few people get to see the bride's face

The granny had some dance moves.

I just love the wrinkles on this woman's face. I wonder what her life was like.

I got to go into a backroom and see the bride's face and take a picture.

The groom's family invited me to join them for osh and tea.

It is tradition for the bride's family to sew and bring 17 floor mattresses (see left) to the new home

A little trouble-maker

Boundaries and the Home

I finally have a chance to sit down and write, and there is just too much to write about. There are certain idiosyncratic Tajik moments that I cannot begin to explain as well as particular feelings and expectations I face as a woman in Tajikistan.  Living in Central Asia was the first time I really began to experience gender imbalance. Yes, there is patriarchy in every part of the world (yep, that includes the USA), but there are certain aspects of Central Asian culture that are so intrinsically linked with gender roles and behavior.

While staying in a village, I got an opportunity to have conversations with women about their expectations and roles and participated in the daily chores and activities. I did not feel like I was treated as a guest. This is not to say the people were not hospitable--in fact, it was extremely generous of the family to let me stay with them. What I mean is that in a lot of interactions, I'm treated not as a woman but as a foreigner who gets her own allowances and guidelines. In this conservative, religious village with strict boundaries, it was completely different. The women wake up at 5:30 am and go pray. They then return to the house and begin the day's chores. All day these women clean the house, cook, and work in their father's little shop. Life revolves around the duties of the home and the duties to the men. The women seem exhausted, and it was frustrating to watch the fifteen year-old son play computer games all day while we worked our asses off. Another frustrating experience was cleaning fruit with the girls and then watching the father sit and eat the "clean" fruit as the girls tried to fill a bowl.

There was a big dinner one of the nights because the father and grandmother were going to Arabistan (Mecca), so the neighborhood came over to feast and to wish them luck. All day we prepared osh (rice with a lot of cottonseed oil, carrots, and pieces of meat) and prepared beautiful table settings. It was really fun to cook with these women, and they got a kick out of how inept I was at cutting the carrots. These women have chopped carrots every day, all their lives, and they have really honed a skill! The women can take dirty carrots, peel them with a dull knife in under 10 seconds, and cut them into perfect small slivers. I was super impressed!

The women and the men sat separately, and as soon as men entered the room, we were not allowed to go inside. We prepared dishes for the men and brought them outside the room. A man then opened the door and accepted our food. It was kind of a rush (and reminded me of the time when I was a waitress!), as we women prepared the osh and salads and ran it to the men's room. Finally, after the men finished eating, we were allowed to clean their plates and eat whatever was left.

It's frustrating, it's eye-opening, it's jarring, and it really throws cultural differences in my face. Yet, being a woman gives me insight into a different sphere of life. The male researchers certainly could not have conversations before bed, as we are lying on Tajik floor mattress, about love, dating, and marriage. A lot of the younger women my age or younger are nervous about getting married but also accept the arranged marriage as their duty to their family. Family comes above all else and the home is the center of life. The women expressed their fears about their futures, their dreams and desires, and their frustrations that cannot be shared in the open. There is a camaraderie among them, and these women accepted me into their circle of friends to share in their lives. It was a truly remarkable experience that has colored my days here.

The Start of the New School: Teacher Interviews

I'm currently sitting in American Corner Khujand, using the free wifi and recovering from a semi-successful discussion class on the pursuit of happiness (maybe too deep for a Friday afternoon talk). It's been a long couple of weeks of traveling, working, facing challenges, overcoming them, and little sleep! Last week I interviewed teachers for the new Access school in Shahriston. Access is a program for bright students between the ages of 14 and 16 who come from a disadvantaged family. Pretty much everyone from Shahriston comes from a disadvantaged family, so I had to implement criteria such as the student comes from a large family (6+ members), only one parent working or father is in Russia, and has a low level of English but a high capacity to learn. It's been exciting to be very active in the process of starting the new Access program. After getting funding approved (operating costs are about $15,000--pretty low for a new project) and a classroom secured, it was on to the teacher interviews.

I was told I was going to be the embassy representative and just tag along, but in reality, I was expected to run the interviews. I've never interviewed anyone before. I've been through my fair share of scary interviews (like ISW's ridiculously intense interview for an unpaid internship), and finally, the tables were turned. I was told to sit in the front of the room, and then people (who had like 8+ years of teaching experience!) came in one-by-one for the interview. Everyone then turned to me and said, "Davai!" (go!) So I conducted the interview. I had a mixture of personal questions, questions about their teaching experience and methodology, and situational questions. I think the situational questions went over really well and were unusual in Tajikistan. Then, at the end of the interview, I had to choose two teachers. I tried to have other people collaborate with me on the decision, but they kept insisting that this was my decision and they would go along with it. Alright, then...So I chose one younger woman whom everyone loved and was an easy choice. The second choice was more controversial. She was older, didn't have higher education, and was quieter than the first woman, but I thought she would be a good teacher and a good balance to the first woman. I think she didn't have an opportunity to go through higher education and was married young with children. However, this doesn't mean she won't be a good teacher! So, I was pretty confident in my decisions, but the whole process was really difficult.

When I announced who got the positions, the older woman started crying. She said she would remember me and this moment for the rest of her life. She asked me to write something in English that she could read to her family. I wrote a nice letter about how kind this woman is and how I am inspired by her passion. I also included an English children's song for her children.

After the selection, I met with the director of education in Shahriston, and we all went out for a tea. Of course, tea turned into a full meal. I had amazing smoked sheep meat, and the people with me kept insisting that I eat more (something I hear often here "iltimos, khorit!") and eat the best pieces. We then had toasts of vodka, which is a very slippery slope. I had to give a toast ("to new beginnings and new friendships") and we all had a good time.

By the time I got to Istaravshan, the town from where I would go back to my apartment in Khujand, there were no more cars leaving for the night. The taxi won't leave until all four of the passenger seats are filled, and unfortunately (fortunately?) for me I was out of luck and stuck in Istaravshan. A family took me in for the night and were completely hospitable. I met the grandparents, the brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, and had several cups of tea and naan. I then went back to the family's own house, had more tea with the woman's husband and children, and finally was able to sleep! I left for Khujand early in the morning when the mother and daughter went to go cotton picking, and within 30 minutes, I was off to another village for another homestay! Things have been pretty non-stop, and I'm loving all of it.

Disco Dreams?

Well, it's been an interesting couple of weeks. My Canadian-Iranian friend came to Khujand for work, and I was really lucky to spend time with her. Her co-workers asked if we were old friends, since we acted like it, but my friend said that we had only met a couple times before but anyone who knows me will feel like they have been friends with me their whole lives. (awwww) Anyway, we went out to dinner with her co-workers from Aga Khan and had great Russian and Persian conversations. They insisted that I don't speak English. It was in those moments of struggling for vocabulary words that my languages really improves. I'm speaking Russian every day and Tajiki when I am in the villages, and I think my languages are really improving. It's those moments when you are riding in a van filled with sacks of onions and crammed full with Tajik villagers that you really have opportunities to share dialogue and experiences with the local people (and improve your language). After an incredible dinner at Visol with her co-workers (not the cafe Visol, but the actual really nice restaurant Visol..you know, for all you Khujandi peeps out there), we all went to a club. Now, I am not a club person. I am so awkward when I dance, but maybe...just maybe I will be more relaxed when it's a crowded place (and people can't focus on my awky dance moves). HOWEVER, we drove out to this disco club in the middle of nowhere. I mean, there were fields surrounding this club. But, the director insisted that we go to this particular club because it was brand new and the latest hot spot in Sughd District. We arrived at this club, and it was closed. Inside I was so relieved that I wouldn't have to torture people with my awful dance moves. Yet, I rejoiced too quickly. I forgot that this was, indeed, Tajikistan. The director paid off one of the workers at the club, and he opened to club just for us. So just imagine this brand new disco club complex in the middle of fields in Tajikistan, and there are only five of us there. We are in this huge, empty room, with a DJ. We are a couple of middle aged professionals and two young girls dancing to a mixture of Persian and hip-hop music, with the director sitting and watching us. The lights from the lone disco ball circled the room, as I had to keep dancing, could not hide my moves in a crowd of people (at all), but in the end, I had a lot of fun. It was definitely a bizarre experience that words can't really explain, but it was "sooo Tajikistan" (a phrase I hear often among the expats here) and that is really something I enjoy.

Exciting Times Ahead!

Hi everyone!

I've been keeping pretty busy working at American Corner. Yesterday, I led a film club. We watched Million Dollar Baby and will be having a discussion about gender roles and stereotypes at the next meeting. It's a pretty good movie. The only issue is that it can be hard for an ESL student to understand the dialogue. The actors have a pretty heavy southern Missouri accent, and of course, Clint Eastwood is notorious for speaking in a gravely voice.

Today, I led my first reading club meeting. I'm always so thrilled to see students on time and ready to learn. I have a feeling this might be a bit of a struggle in my Teach for America experience next year. This was the first time, really, that I felt like I could employ some of my teaching skills. Discussion is great, and it's really valuable, but reading club gave me a chance to develop vocabulary, listening, speaking, and reading skills. We started with a Level 1 ESL short-story about Aladdin. I had the students read the chapter (about 5 pages) silently to themselves. The we read it aloud through a combination of choral, call-and-response, individual reading, and listening exercises. Throughout the passages, I asked questions for reading comprehension. We also did a grammar exercise to choose "what" or "where" for the beginning of sentences. There would be a sentence, for example, "....did Aladdin find in the cave?" and the students had to read the sentence aloud and decide to use either what or where. I think it was really helpful, and the students recognized their mistakes right away when they read the sentence aloud. We also had a grammar discussion about near synonyms. We discussed the differences between "aim", "goal", and "purpose" and when to use these words properly.

Some things I want to improve on next time. I have a mixture of ages and skill levels. Some students are seven and others are twenty. I tried to give the younger kids more reading practice, but when I asked comprehension questions, one older kid kept answering all the questions. I need to come up with a better way to manage responses--perhaps pair share first or some creative way. Ilana, the other Fulbrighter, used a great technique for over-sharers. She gave the students 5 pieces of candy each, which they lines up in front of their desks. If you answered a question, you got to each a piece of candy, but you couldn't answer the next question (which is GREAT because they are chewing anyway!). I'm definitely going to try this technique out.

After some frustration and going back and forth trying to nail down times and dates, for my adopted project, I finally got a phone call! On Friday, I will be traveling to Istaravshan to conduct teacher interviews for the new Access program in Shahriston. Shahriston is a beautiful little mountain village in Northern Tajikistan. I am kind of taking this project under my wing. I will be starting a new school for bright and disadvantaged students in Shahriston. I may end up relocating to the village, which is going to be another adventure! The trick with Shahriston is to go there before it is winter and the roads get closed. They also speak mostly Uzbek there. In Khujand, I've found most people speak Russian first, Tajik second (opposite in Dushanbe). Ah, I will still plunge ahead and try to become proficient in Tajik! I got the number of a Tajik teacher in Khujand, so I will take classes for as long as I can.

Anyway, sorry for the length of this post. I know it's a lot. Exciting times are definitely ahead, and I'm beginning to really work out a routine.

Ups and Downs

Settling in to Khujand has been rough. To be fair, I've had some really high "highs", but I think as life kind of continues I've been experiencing some lows. Apparently, this is perfectly normal. During orientation is D.C. we received information about the natural mood swings we get during cultural adjustment.

I wasn't going to write a blog post about this, but after reading Nicole's blog, I felt reassured that I'm not the only one out there! I feel extremely isolated up here, since all the other Fulbrighters and the Tajik friends that I made are in Dushanbe. I almost wish I went directly to Khujand when I arrived because picking up and starting over again is pretty hard. I've also been battling stomach problems for the past two weeks, which certainly hasn't helped.

I think the problem is that I don't have a steady schedule yet. I've been leading discussion clubs here and there, but I haven't started a project to really sink my teeth into yet, and I'm unsure of how to proceed.

Don't worry friends and family. I've had some amazing experiences here. Probably my best experiences have been going to the villages. Having several cups of tea and naan with an old woman in the countryside, and afterwards, receiving an embrace from her and being called, "Victoria Khan." There was something so beautiful in being accepted by this conservative muslim woman in Northern Tajikistan. I wonder if Americans would have shown the same generosity and openness. I don't normally write about negativity in my posts, and I've had bad days before, but I figured that this is all apart of the Fulbright experience. The good, the bad, and those in between, every day moments.

I know I am supposed to be here, and I'm working on establishing a routine. And as Nicole said, "according to my guilty pleasure, Psychology Today, big breakdowns lead to big breakthroughs." So here's to these moments of highs and lows. I'm embracing them and am looking forward to the next 8 months of making a difference.