Funny Tajik Moments

Here are some funny Tajik moments I can think of right now before my internet dies:

Seeing an advertisement for CARPETS FROM BELARUS!!!!!! I didn't know Belarus was so fancy?

While filming, my Tajik friend told me that after the men sit down I can go in and "shoot them". Hmm...freudian?

Eating the most disgusting lunch that was all sheep fat. I tried to swallow the pieces of fat as quickly as possible and wash it down with tea. Unfortunately, the older village woman thought I loved fat pieces, and she  started scraping fat pieces from her plate and put them on mine. Plan foiled.

Before going to sleep, the girl I was staying with told me "Good-night and Indian dreams." I guess Tajik girls love Bollywood films. Since these movies are so fantastic and full of love, they wish those dreams on others.

Talking about my husband pretty much every day when men try to get my phone number. Common things I say, "Excuse me? My husband does not allow me to talk to men." or "I do have a phone, but this is my husband's phone, and he does not allow me to use it." "Yes, I'm twenty-two. I know, I know I need to have children soon. My husband and I are planning on having at least three when I return." And it totally works. Every single time.

While in Dushanbe and seeing Maria, the Russian bear that an old Tajik man walks around on the street, another Fulbrighter was worried that I was getting too close to the bear. "Ilana! It's okay! I just need to lose a limb or so, and then I MIGHT get medevac. I heard we get medevac in London--LONDON!!!"

"Hey girl!" (In Russian) and then in English "Come drink strong alcoholic drinks with me." At least he was honest.

The Tajik woman who power walked around the pool in her lingerie and headscarf.

"Hey girls! Where are you from?" "China." "Ohhh....."

Reflections

Things here have been pretty good. I've gotten into a good groove with work and have found a small community of expats to have fun with on the weekends. The Sunday brunches are definitely good incentives to get through the week. I've also been swimming twice a week (on the two "women's days") at the pool. The pool is beautiful, brand new, nearly always empty, and the only 50m pool in Tajikistan. It's great to find a way to keep in shape, since running can be a bit dangerous and uncomfortable. A Tajik woman I know in Khujand goes running every morning, but she disguises herself as a boy. She puts her hair up underneath a baseball hat, wears loose clothing, etc. The pool and the other Fulbrighter's Yoga videos are lifesavers!

I've been doing some reflection on teaching. I just accepted an offer for Teach for America's Baltimore Corps, and I will be teaching ESL. I'm really excited about getting my top choice (last year I deferred TFA Mississippi Delta) and to get a masters degree nearly paid for from Johns Hopkins. A big thing that I have discovered in teaching is not to be afraid to try something new and to be creative. I think at first I was a bit hesitant to break the norms, but then I started experimenting once a week with a new game or activity. They were always really big hits! Students learn best by playing, and you don't have to be a kid to play. Adults can learn by playing--learning by games, activities, role-playing, etc.--after all, we are all children at heart. I think it's sad when adults lose the magic that kids see in the world. Everything is wonderful, and people should be happy.

Another big thing I learned was to not think of the country I'm in as a place to change. I think a lot of people working International NGOs and programs go into a developing country and view their surroundings as series of problems with set methods to fix them. No country is the same. No region within the country is alike. Neither is a village or neighborhood. I had a great discussion on Friday that was supposed to be around the topic "how to find a girlfriend" (the kids chose it, not me!), but it turned into a great discussion on the fine line between cultural norms and immorality (if morality can be objectified). I think the important thing here, especially for Westerners, is to not go in with an idea of how you are going the change everything. Work within the framework of the local community. Get out of your network of expats and visit the villages of your co-workers, stay with your students' families, and immerse yourself in a culture that is different than yours. Putting yourself in a situation that may make you feel slightly uncomfortable stretches your limits and forces you to grow.

There are practices here that I don't agree with, but I am willing to be open to learning and sharing. For example, young girls around the age of twelve are getting married in a neighboring village. The students asked for my opinion on this, and I had to be kind of strategic. I definitely am very opinionated about gender roles, female education, and women empowerment, but in order to make this a teaching moment, I couldn't force my opinion on the students. We had to discuss it together. I turned the question around on them and asked for their opinions, but then I asked them "why" they believed that. Thinking critically is the first step to making positive change. Even more so, critical thinking combined with discussion and debate will catalyze progression.

I'm learning a lot more, and next semester I am sure to have even more experiences. I will be teaching a modern American history class at Khujand State University and interning with the Women's Crisis Center, where I hope to lead seminars on women's health. I'm not sure how much of a positive impact I'm having, but I think the most important thing about Fulbright, is the cross-cultural exchange, and that is, I believe, where real learning takes place.

IMON International

This week I started my internship with IMON International, the largest and most successful microfinance bank in Tajikistan. IMON's key supporters are Mercy Corps, Oikocredit, Kiva, and others. The thing that I really liked about IMON and one of the main reasons why I chose to intern there was their financial education and entrepreneurship classes. Unlike other microfinance institutions, IMON conducts financial education workshops for women. At the end of the course, women design their own business plans and present their plans in order to get funding. If approved, the women receive small loans for a start-up business. While other microfinance institutions provide small loans for ongoing expenses, IMON was the first I'd seen that supported business entrepreneurs with microloans. IMON consistently scores top marks for financial assessment and social responsibility. The company cares about the financial soundness of the loans and the financial officers are careful to minimize loan risk and defaulting, but there is also a human element to the process which IMON recognizes and upholds. IMON means "belief" in Farsi. The name could not have been more fitting.

However, as an intern I quickly discovered that I actually do not like working in finance. I spent hours looking through expense reports and projections. I like what IMON is doing, but I can't stand sitting behind a desk in an office looking at excel sheet after excel sheet of numbers. So today I decided to work for the Women's Crisis Center, which is an organization under the umbrella of IMON. I asked where the center was, and I got a ride from some people at IMON. The crisis center is in the back of an alley, and I totally would have missed it. I walked in and started speaking Russian with some people. They weren't expecting me at all, and the director who speaks fluent English was out sick. So, I had two hours of Russian conversation practice! We had great conversations about the shelter, their projects, and the dreams they have for the future of the crisis center. The Women's Crisis Center is a shelter for women who suffer from domestic violence. It is run by an all-female staff who are extremely passionate and dedicate to female empowerment issues. There is a lawyer, psychologist, and occasional doctor who provide free, on-site assistance. The building houses twelve women and their babies for up to 14 days, but there have been some cases where women have stayed three months. I'm going to start interning there next week. The project is up to me, but I am thinking of working with women's health. I'm not sure if there is a program ongoing, but I'm sure there is always a way to get a program going (aut viam inveniam aut faciam -- either I will find a way or I will make one).

I had one of those rare life moments today. Today I felt I was exactly where I needed to be. I'm still apprehensive about my future. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life, and I'm not sure if I will make any money doing something I love (which is a problem since I went to GW and have student loans...). Today, though, I made a decision to stop doing something I did not like and find something I was passionate about. The world is open and fresh, and I am the only one setting limitations to my happiness. Who knows where I will be in a few years, but at this moment, I know I am exactly where I need to be.

Life in Tstan

Onions and nuts for the winter

A traditional Tajik table setting

Host mom making osh. There is no electricity.

The osh is almost ready!

The oven for making naan and for burning trash

Chai and naan with the granny while mom cuts carrots

My friend who wants to become an English translator and finish university before she marries

One of the four sisters who is studying to do make-up. Unfortunately, no one uses make-up here, so it has been hard for her to find training. I told her to find a Russian lady to ask for help.

Piles and piles of carrots

The neighbor came over for some tea before all the girls left for the wedding

Big naan. The biggest naan is made for weddings.

My friend's sister dressed in her finest for the wedding. She asked me if I thought she looked pretty.

All of the girls dressed to impress.

In some conservative Muslim cultures, it is common not to smile in pictures. I love this one because my friend is smiling and is really excited for the wedding celebration.

I definitely need to get some new clothes...

All of them are so beautiful

Waiting for the groom to bring his bride

Fetching water from a pipe at a neighbor's house

In Tajikistan, running water is a rare. Women carry jugs of water multiple times a day for the cooking and cleaning.

Everyone going in for the osh.

A cute and very serious little Tajik girl

Drinking some more chai and hanging out. The girls found me a dress to borrow so people wouldn't ask why I was so poorly dressed.

Tajik wedding. The groom brings the bride who is from a neighboring village.

There is some dancing, but it is kept at a minimum.

The groom presents his bride to the village. Her family stands next to her. These are all arranged marriages.

Few people get to see the bride's face

The granny had some dance moves.

I just love the wrinkles on this woman's face. I wonder what her life was like.

I got to go into a backroom and see the bride's face and take a picture.

The groom's family invited me to join them for osh and tea.

It is tradition for the bride's family to sew and bring 17 floor mattresses (see left) to the new home

A little trouble-maker

Boundaries and the Home

I finally have a chance to sit down and write, and there is just too much to write about. There are certain idiosyncratic Tajik moments that I cannot begin to explain as well as particular feelings and expectations I face as a woman in Tajikistan.  Living in Central Asia was the first time I really began to experience gender imbalance. Yes, there is patriarchy in every part of the world (yep, that includes the USA), but there are certain aspects of Central Asian culture that are so intrinsically linked with gender roles and behavior.

While staying in a village, I got an opportunity to have conversations with women about their expectations and roles and participated in the daily chores and activities. I did not feel like I was treated as a guest. This is not to say the people were not hospitable--in fact, it was extremely generous of the family to let me stay with them. What I mean is that in a lot of interactions, I'm treated not as a woman but as a foreigner who gets her own allowances and guidelines. In this conservative, religious village with strict boundaries, it was completely different. The women wake up at 5:30 am and go pray. They then return to the house and begin the day's chores. All day these women clean the house, cook, and work in their father's little shop. Life revolves around the duties of the home and the duties to the men. The women seem exhausted, and it was frustrating to watch the fifteen year-old son play computer games all day while we worked our asses off. Another frustrating experience was cleaning fruit with the girls and then watching the father sit and eat the "clean" fruit as the girls tried to fill a bowl.

There was a big dinner one of the nights because the father and grandmother were going to Arabistan (Mecca), so the neighborhood came over to feast and to wish them luck. All day we prepared osh (rice with a lot of cottonseed oil, carrots, and pieces of meat) and prepared beautiful table settings. It was really fun to cook with these women, and they got a kick out of how inept I was at cutting the carrots. These women have chopped carrots every day, all their lives, and they have really honed a skill! The women can take dirty carrots, peel them with a dull knife in under 10 seconds, and cut them into perfect small slivers. I was super impressed!

The women and the men sat separately, and as soon as men entered the room, we were not allowed to go inside. We prepared dishes for the men and brought them outside the room. A man then opened the door and accepted our food. It was kind of a rush (and reminded me of the time when I was a waitress!), as we women prepared the osh and salads and ran it to the men's room. Finally, after the men finished eating, we were allowed to clean their plates and eat whatever was left.

It's frustrating, it's eye-opening, it's jarring, and it really throws cultural differences in my face. Yet, being a woman gives me insight into a different sphere of life. The male researchers certainly could not have conversations before bed, as we are lying on Tajik floor mattress, about love, dating, and marriage. A lot of the younger women my age or younger are nervous about getting married but also accept the arranged marriage as their duty to their family. Family comes above all else and the home is the center of life. The women expressed their fears about their futures, their dreams and desires, and their frustrations that cannot be shared in the open. There is a camaraderie among them, and these women accepted me into their circle of friends to share in their lives. It was a truly remarkable experience that has colored my days here.

The Start of the New School: Teacher Interviews

I'm currently sitting in American Corner Khujand, using the free wifi and recovering from a semi-successful discussion class on the pursuit of happiness (maybe too deep for a Friday afternoon talk). It's been a long couple of weeks of traveling, working, facing challenges, overcoming them, and little sleep! Last week I interviewed teachers for the new Access school in Shahriston. Access is a program for bright students between the ages of 14 and 16 who come from a disadvantaged family. Pretty much everyone from Shahriston comes from a disadvantaged family, so I had to implement criteria such as the student comes from a large family (6+ members), only one parent working or father is in Russia, and has a low level of English but a high capacity to learn. It's been exciting to be very active in the process of starting the new Access program. After getting funding approved (operating costs are about $15,000--pretty low for a new project) and a classroom secured, it was on to the teacher interviews.

I was told I was going to be the embassy representative and just tag along, but in reality, I was expected to run the interviews. I've never interviewed anyone before. I've been through my fair share of scary interviews (like ISW's ridiculously intense interview for an unpaid internship), and finally, the tables were turned. I was told to sit in the front of the room, and then people (who had like 8+ years of teaching experience!) came in one-by-one for the interview. Everyone then turned to me and said, "Davai!" (go!) So I conducted the interview. I had a mixture of personal questions, questions about their teaching experience and methodology, and situational questions. I think the situational questions went over really well and were unusual in Tajikistan. Then, at the end of the interview, I had to choose two teachers. I tried to have other people collaborate with me on the decision, but they kept insisting that this was my decision and they would go along with it. Alright, then...So I chose one younger woman whom everyone loved and was an easy choice. The second choice was more controversial. She was older, didn't have higher education, and was quieter than the first woman, but I thought she would be a good teacher and a good balance to the first woman. I think she didn't have an opportunity to go through higher education and was married young with children. However, this doesn't mean she won't be a good teacher! So, I was pretty confident in my decisions, but the whole process was really difficult.

When I announced who got the positions, the older woman started crying. She said she would remember me and this moment for the rest of her life. She asked me to write something in English that she could read to her family. I wrote a nice letter about how kind this woman is and how I am inspired by her passion. I also included an English children's song for her children.

After the selection, I met with the director of education in Shahriston, and we all went out for a tea. Of course, tea turned into a full meal. I had amazing smoked sheep meat, and the people with me kept insisting that I eat more (something I hear often here "iltimos, khorit!") and eat the best pieces. We then had toasts of vodka, which is a very slippery slope. I had to give a toast ("to new beginnings and new friendships") and we all had a good time.

By the time I got to Istaravshan, the town from where I would go back to my apartment in Khujand, there were no more cars leaving for the night. The taxi won't leave until all four of the passenger seats are filled, and unfortunately (fortunately?) for me I was out of luck and stuck in Istaravshan. A family took me in for the night and were completely hospitable. I met the grandparents, the brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, and had several cups of tea and naan. I then went back to the family's own house, had more tea with the woman's husband and children, and finally was able to sleep! I left for Khujand early in the morning when the mother and daughter went to go cotton picking, and within 30 minutes, I was off to another village for another homestay! Things have been pretty non-stop, and I'm loving all of it.

Disco Dreams?

Well, it's been an interesting couple of weeks. My Canadian-Iranian friend came to Khujand for work, and I was really lucky to spend time with her. Her co-workers asked if we were old friends, since we acted like it, but my friend said that we had only met a couple times before but anyone who knows me will feel like they have been friends with me their whole lives. (awwww) Anyway, we went out to dinner with her co-workers from Aga Khan and had great Russian and Persian conversations. They insisted that I don't speak English. It was in those moments of struggling for vocabulary words that my languages really improves. I'm speaking Russian every day and Tajiki when I am in the villages, and I think my languages are really improving. It's those moments when you are riding in a van filled with sacks of onions and crammed full with Tajik villagers that you really have opportunities to share dialogue and experiences with the local people (and improve your language). After an incredible dinner at Visol with her co-workers (not the cafe Visol, but the actual really nice restaurant Visol..you know, for all you Khujandi peeps out there), we all went to a club. Now, I am not a club person. I am so awkward when I dance, but maybe...just maybe I will be more relaxed when it's a crowded place (and people can't focus on my awky dance moves). HOWEVER, we drove out to this disco club in the middle of nowhere. I mean, there were fields surrounding this club. But, the director insisted that we go to this particular club because it was brand new and the latest hot spot in Sughd District. We arrived at this club, and it was closed. Inside I was so relieved that I wouldn't have to torture people with my awful dance moves. Yet, I rejoiced too quickly. I forgot that this was, indeed, Tajikistan. The director paid off one of the workers at the club, and he opened to club just for us. So just imagine this brand new disco club complex in the middle of fields in Tajikistan, and there are only five of us there. We are in this huge, empty room, with a DJ. We are a couple of middle aged professionals and two young girls dancing to a mixture of Persian and hip-hop music, with the director sitting and watching us. The lights from the lone disco ball circled the room, as I had to keep dancing, could not hide my moves in a crowd of people (at all), but in the end, I had a lot of fun. It was definitely a bizarre experience that words can't really explain, but it was "sooo Tajikistan" (a phrase I hear often among the expats here) and that is really something I enjoy.